Separation Anxeity: To Whom It May Concern

If you don't already know I am a stay at home mom (S.A.H.M). This job proves to be difficult some days. One reason being that there is no pay (she says with a smile). There are so many obstacles to get over as a mother of two beautiful young girls. There is hitting, biting, pushing, potty training, the questions and much more. My favorite right now is separation anxiety. Between my eldest who is three who has been asking me to go with her everywhere and my one year old who cries at a drop of a hat or a closed door and me on the other side.

"to a degree. At certain stages, most babies or toddlers will show true anxiety and be upset at the prospect — or reality — of being separated from a parent. " www.babycenter.com

"L" never showed much separation anxiety as a baby, but she went through different care providers. One being myself, then my husband, then daycare and help from relatives. She suffers through little to no anxiety in this case, just tells me she misses me when I'm not there. Which makes me want to kiss her or cry I'm not sure. My one year old cries when I go to the bathroom. I love her to pieces and I don't know what I would do with out either one of my girls, but mommy has to potty.

All of these obstacles are difficult to get through, but I am not speaking of my daughters separation anxiety. Confused? No, I'm speaking of my own. Shhhh. Never tell my girls (again with a smile).

My girls are out with there very capable great grandparents today as they have noticed as well as my mother that I do need a bit of a break. I'm beginning to forget things, lose myself so to speak and not keep the house all that together as I used to.

My husband and I talk about how we need a babysitter to go out on more dates (more as in at least one or two more than one or two a year), but we never go looking for a sitter. We have a wonderful support system from our family and I don't know what I would do without that support, help and love. On the other hand I really need to work on my anxiety (worry/stress).

I always worry about what my girls are doing, what they are eating, if they are safe. What if they wander off out of the yard? What if they choke on something or even trip and I'm not there to kiss their booboos? These are real issues that not only go through my head today, but when I think about the girls going to school someday. Will I still feel the same way? It doesn't matter who my kids are with, if it's not me I worry. I wish there was a way to get a break, but still have them right next to me. Nay, I wish I never needed a break.

"Separation anxiety disorder is a psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment (like a father and mother). It becomes a disorder when the separation reaction becomes strong enough to impair people's ability to conduct their day to day lives and relationships." http://en.wikipedia.org

Remember in my description when I said I was defined by motherhood. This is true. I am a mother and I have let it take over. Some ways it is good and some ways I am just letting myself stress over the silly things. I certainly don't suffer from separation anxiety disorder and wouldn't want to lead you in that direction. It isn't much of an anxiety, as much as a mothers worry.

My children's life and well being are more important than my own which I'm sure is the same for other moms, but I can't seem to breathe without my girls. Unhealthy you say? Yes. I am doing much better though. I can function on my own and do things. I went to the gym today and even painted my toe nails. Oh, and if you're wondering about that house keeping. It's all done. Well, let's just say "all done". ;)