Dedicated to My Mom

I suffer from a peripheral vision impairment. Well not really, but it seems as though I spend every thought and bit of energy on my girls. I focus so much on their needs that I can't see what is going on around me. Between the mile long walks (which I enjoy too), beach days (I also enjoy), craft projects (sometimes enjoy), playing games, building things, crafting things, what to eat and when to eat, when to use the potty and change the diapers, etc. (the list goes on).

I can't seem to see the mess we are creating with our whirlwind day or week. Then all of a sudden my blinders come off and viola! Mess! This is even after picking up numerous times a day, vacuuming at least every other day, mopping, toilet bowl cleaning, numerous dish washing throughout the day. You name it. I do it all day long. After all of that the day comes where I notice somehow I have let everything go. How does this happen?

I'll tell you how. All my kids do is eat, sleep (rarely), poop and make a mess of dishes and clothes and toys. Yikes. I kid you, but it seems like the universe is playing some kind of trick on me. "You want to be a good mom and spend all moments with your children teaching, playing, nurturing. Well ha! You have to spend half of that time if not more cleaning up after your dog, husband, self and two kids. Now find time to relax and be carefree with the family."

I remember as a little girl just resenting my mother when she stayed in when the rest of the family went outside to play. What could she possibly be doing that was more important and more fun than playing outside with us? Cleaning! Either that or goodness forbid mom needs a nap.

Speaking of naps, I have been trying something new. My girls share a room with each other and I have always put them to bed at different times as to not wake the other. Lately I have been trying to get them to fall asleep in the room, in their own beds at the same time. This is proving to be difficult.

Hannah falls asleep now all by herself as does Lorelei of course, but together is a whole new story. I put Hannah down while Lorelei wanted to sleep in her tent (an indoor tent shaped like a tree). I walked out to finish up some of the laundry I had been trying to fold. After all I was only a few feet from their door. It was completely quiet so I assumed they were on their way to sleep. All of a sudden I hear "Hannah no. Mom can you come and get me out of this crib?"

Have I shared that the new thing is Lorelei climbing into Hannah's crib and coaxing her into jumping. Well apparently that has changed to trying to sleep in the same bed with her. Lorelei had put her pillow, blanket and numerous guys in the crib as well as herself. I guess it wasn't as easy getting out of the crib as in.

This morning while helping Lorelei to the bathroom (the door has a toddler proof nob) Hannah tailed behind. She sat down outside the bathroom door to wait patiently like she almost always does. (Either that or she tries to steal her sisters underwear and run off to put them on.) This time I look behind me assuming she is still in the same spot and she was gone.

Walking out of the bathroom I assumed I would find her quickly, but nothing. I couldn't find her anywhere. I realized quickly that the one day I left the slider open with only the screen blocking her to the patio she had gotten out of my site. I freaked out running from room to room. My heart fell to my knees when I finally called her. "Hannah." Just as I finished her name I see her pop out from under the desk and say "Boo." Now you must be kidding me. How can my one year old be that sly?

A few days before that we had ate our dinner and decided to go out for ice cream and the park. What a treat. The girls had so much fun and were exhausted by the time we got home. Since we had left so quickly for our desert I had some unfinished business with the dinner dishes. Hannah was on one side of the room playing with her Dora chair while Lorelei was in the play area minding her own business quietly playing.

If you're a parent you probably smell something with the slight sent of mischief. Well you would be correct. Lorelei seemed to have gotten a hold of her water bottle and was pouring all of the water on her toys. This spot she had chosen was just out of sight of where I could see her from the kitchen. Her excuse was that they needed to be cleaned. I guess I can give her a "golden star" for cleanliness.

All in a days work for this momma. Thank you to my mommy for putting up with my mischief, but I'm sure I never created any (she says with a wink).

A picture of my mom and I chatting it up at Lorelei's party.

Nap Time Debate: Homeschooling vs. Public Schools

Swimming, sand, hot sunny days and Popsicles dripping down finger tips. Camping and S'mores all fun summer activities filled with joy and laughter come to an end and the school year vastly approaches. Summer is at it's half way mark and all I can think about is where to send my daughter to school.

She is still working on potty training, though we took her to her first preschool open house back in February or March. Excitement isn't even an accurate description for how Lorelei feels when we walk by the preschool and stop to play on some of the equipment (shhhh, don't tell). She is working hard on potty training, but doesn't seem to have the knack for it as she'd rather be playing right along with her sister, which doesn't quite add up to being ready for preschool.

The girls and I sit together to do endless craft projects, learning letters in work books and cutting out shapes and making puzzles. We do so many learning activities in this house; I even add in learning when we're going for walks or on the beach just by simply asking questions or pointing objects out.

All of this has made me wonder what is best for Lorelei and Hannah in the near future. What is going to be best for my girls? Does homeschooling or Public Schools have the best structure and learning environment for them to flourish and grow?

Homeschooling leaves so many doors open and seems to me to be a much more nurturing environment. It's my responsibility how the day goes and what they have learned by the end of the week. How they view learning and what they learn would be completely up to me. I can send them to summer camp or Library functions or decide to start a homeschooling group for parents and children or I can join a group.

Sending my daughters to a public school offers daily peer interaction and possibilities of ever lasting friendships. Learning from and trusting an adult other than a parent. There are things a public school offers that I simply can't. Learning how to get along with a teacher or peer on a daily basis and coping with their environment; if that may be the case. Odds are in the many years of schooling the children will come across a teacher or peer they just don't understand or get along with.

A child learns to thrive outside the home and learn how to follow their given schedule and earn grades and be admired and seen by peers. It can teach them how to handle a bully or even an assignment they'd rather not participate in.

On the other hand children may feel stifled and left behind their peers if they stay home with their mommy. They may feel uncomfortable in such a fast and structured environment in school.

Are these things I want my children subjected to? Just because it is the norm to attend public school and to learn how to thrive or survive doesn't mean my children need to be subjected to that type of lifestyle. Just as much as keeping my kids home "sounds" like the more nurturing option doesn't mean I need to keep them home with me. After all it takes a village right?

I have so many different arguments on this subject I can't simply decide. Not yet anyway. I'm not sure if I'm the right teacher for my children or have what it takes to guide them into living a happy and fulfilling life as adults. The last thing I want is to look back and think I made selfish decisions. I chose to send them to public school so I didn't have to feel the pressure of their education on my shoulders or I kept them at home with me because I wanted to nurture them and keep them close..too close for their liking.

Expect to see more on this subject in the future as I simply don't have a "winner" for this debate. Both schooling styles seem to be viable solutions to raising children. I hope I can make the right decisions for my children as the years go by. Any advice or opinions, please share!

For some homeschooling information go to http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com. Don't be afraid to look into it yourself. Google it!

For Homeschooling vs. Public Schools Part 2 please click here.

Meet My Girls

Lately I haven't been able to help myself. I have been perusing old photos from the last few years. I have noticed a few things. One, my husband and I have moved a lot. Two, my body has gone through many changes between two pregnancies and weight gain and loss. Three, my girls are growing up fast.

My daughter Lorelei is three. I can't tell you that enough, but I really think it's my way of coping with her growing up. Soon she'll be graduating high school and heading off to college (if mom has a say in it).

She has always been very talkative and very smart. She knew all of her colors by 18 months and could say them fairly clearly. I remember attending a family members birthday which of course had all sorts of balloons. Another member of the family asked her what the colors were after I expressed how smart she was. The member of the family was so astonished that she did in fact know all of her colors.

Potty training as you might know is a different story all together. She just doesn't want anything to do with it. We're doing very well now with consistency and no accidents except for no. 2. I also have to be the one to send her to the bathroom after a few hours have gone by, but this is progress.

Learning has always come fairly easily to her. She knows half of her letters and can use my iPod and her Leapster better than I can. She loves using her computer to learn and find her letters as well as doing a large three foot floor puzzle with all of her letters. It took her a while to get used to the idea of recognizing symbols, but she really likes it now that she has the hang of it.

She also is very athletic and great at dancing, and choreographing for that matter. She is always showing someone a new dance move or song. She can jump around this house and twirl like a ballerina with the best of them. I actually can't wait to get her into a dance class one of these days.

Sensitivity is something that comes fairly easily to her as well. Lorelei likes "reading" to Hannah, but some days it's all about not sharing and "get her away, " but she is very nice and sensitive to her little sister from feeding her, helping her up and down, dancing with her and telling her when she's done a good job.

Hannah is almost 14 months now and is a little fire cracker. She does everything on her own, from climbing, running, getting into things and stealing her big sisters big girl underwear to try and put them on.

She absolutely adores her big sister and tries to say and do what she does. She loves every toy her sister loves and loves being on her bed. Lorelei is also the first one to get a kiss at the end of the night when Hannah is heading to bed.

Cuddling isn't to be forgotten as it is one of Hannah's favorite things. She hugs and cuddles our immediate family a lot, especially mom and sister. She enjoys sitting on my lap when I read stories to the girls and running up to hug her sister when she doesn't know it's coming. Daddy is the one that can get her to sit still believe it or not.

She absolutely loves the water and beach too. She would walk right into the water and keep going if I let her (that is if there aren't big waves coming her way.) She even loves splashing and spinning in the pool.

Hannah is trying to copy all kinds of words and knows a bunch by heart as well. Hannah says:

Bo for Bones (our dog)

Daw for Dog

Mom for Mom

Da for Dad

Or-I for Lorelei

None or Done for Done

Yum mum um for Yummy

Booh for Book

Boo for Boo

Ba for Ball

Ank U for Thank you

Pea for Please

She says so many partial words I can't even post them all, and she even nods yes when you ask her a question. Granted it's to any question, but she knows when she's being asked something.

My girls are growing fast and will be in school in no time. I have noticed a lot of people home schooling now-a-days and I'm not sure how they do it. Maybe with more space and patience than I have. I love watching my girls grow and I hope you enjoy hearing some facts about my girls as well.

Nap Time Debate: Pull Ups vs. Big Girl Underwear

Okay, so I promised the girls pediatrician that would just stop talking about potty training all together. I have been told over and over by this lovely man that "L" will surrender to toilet training when she is ready. He has also told me that he has seen too many cases of traumatized kiddos from the process of toilet training.

This being said I just don't know what to do. Majority rules on big kid underwear being that kids can't feel that they have gone in the pull ups. The cool alerts even pose a problem for some parents because the kids enjoy the cool feeling.

"L" my three year old daughter has been interested in using the potty since she was "H's" age just like "H" is interested now. Honestly, she is mostly interested in stealing her sisters big girl underwear with Dora and Princesses plastered all over them to run where sister can't grab her and put them on herself. Of course being that she is one this task proves to be to difficult. None the less, it does not stop her from trying.

Anyway, "L" goes back and forth day to day, hour by hour from pull ups and big girl underwear. She refuses to tell me when she has to go although she has expressed and shown me that she knows when she needs to go. It's a very frustrating task for this mommy. I have been understanding and kind and caring, but now I just want to get down to business. Am I suppose to wait for my three year old to look me dead in the eye and say "Okay mommy. I'm ready."? Does this really happen?

I have tried many things for "L" and yet she refuses to decide she is ready. I have bribed with candy, suckers, stickers and even tried rewarding her with more t.v. time. I have even sunk so low to tell her we would go visit her cousin if she would just go #2. Are you seeing now why the pediatrician has nixed my talking about potty training? I am simply going nutty.

So here's the thing. I feel too horrible to let her repeatedly potty on herself as she will just change her clothes or deny that she is wet in the first place. She keeps going #2 in her underwear even though I have succeeded a few times in convincing her to go #2 on the potty. On the other hand if I let her wear pull ups which are essentially diapers in disguise she will use them just as that, diapers.

So what do I do now? Put my foot down and tell her that is that? I don't personally think so, but is that what it takes to get kids potty trained? Is my pediatrician right and I just need to wait for her to be ready? How can a three year old really decide that she is ready to use the toilet? May I add that one day "L" expressed to me that she doesn't want to use the potty because she "wants to keep it."

I guess all I can say for now is that we are going back and forth from underwear and pull ups. I know putting a child in underwear and letting them figure it out works, but is that the trauma that the pediatrician has seen? Do they really decide on their own when they want to be all grown up? To be honest with you I am kind of tired of looking this subject up on different web sites looking for answers (which the girls pediatrician said I need to give up as well.)

So the only answer I have for today is: Both?