Nap Time Debate: Friend Vs. Mom

Okay, so technically it is nap time, but I am writing this while my three year old whispers behind me. She refuses to take a nap and she is lying on the couch with her daddy causing a little mischief while her little sister naps quietly in her crib. What I am debating today after spending some much needed "Lorelei and Mommy" time today is if I should be more of a friend or more of the typical MOM type.

I more than anything want to be a part of my girls lives and see them grow and learn and interact. I play with them and teach them. I take them swimming and to the park. I run with them to play catch and kick a ball. I even bake with them and do so many crafts the projects are starting to take up my home, but is my discipline is lacking?

I put Lorelei in time out when she does something like hit or kick, but she runs out laughing, but if I take a beloved stuffed animal away after misusing it she cries. I don't understand. Mischief is a game to my sweet Lorelei and I am wondering if I have let it manifest from being too close to her. Am I too much of a friend to Lorelei and Hannah?

I want what is best for my daughters by all means, but does that mean I need to back up a little bit? Should I be the mom who takes me girls to day care so they spend some time away from me? I wonder if my discipline isn't doing much for Lorelei. Hannah has already started standing on chairs and waits for me to stand up to get her before she sits down giggling. I sit down, she stands up and it keeps on happening until I take her down and she fusses.

Sometimes I fear that my girls look at me as a playmate instead of a mom. Although those moments Lorelei stops whatever she is doing in public or at home and hugs me and tells me how much she loves me. Hannah loves to cuddle and read books with me makes my heart warm. So here it is. I want to be both if there is such a thing.

I choose a friendly mom. Does that work? I want to keep communication open with my girls as they grow. I want to share with them what they enjoy and I want them to know their boundaries. I want them to grow to understand themselves and others, to be caring and respectful and to have high morals, to love one another and do whats right and not always easy.

I know my choices will always affect and be a apart of my children and I will always do my best, after all my mommy taught me that.

Lorelei helping Hannah up the stairs.

Nap Time Debate: Snack Time vs. Meal Time

Ever since I was a little girl all I loved was cereal and macaroni and cheese made from the box. I didn't like a whole lot of meat and couldn't eat at the dinner table during Thanksgiving dinner because I could not see the actual turkey. It was me or the turkey so the turkey was always out of sight. As I've gotten older I enjoy a lot more food and seem to make more time to eat it.

I've always snacked throughout the day but started it off with a big breakfast as soon as my eyes would open. I would eat very little at a time but a lot throughout the day. My girls are the same. Mostly Lorelei. She seems to eat like a bird. A bit here and a bit there is all she can manage.

Plus I'm a snacker so it's hard to change my ways and not hand out snacks throughout the day. I don't think I could tell my girls no to food either. By food I mean something healthy. If my girls want blueberries or apples I will gladly give them another. I used to be that way with milk as well. That is until it seemed like that was all Lorelei was consuming. Now she loves what she calls hot cocoa, but it's just white milk with Hershey syrup. This is gross I think, but the days I have coffee in the morning I let her indulge with a little chocolate milk.

I think I've gained a bit of weight mostly because I have started eating bigger meals with my family now that I am a mother. I have always snacked so it is a hard habit to break. Not always a bad snack, but a snack none the less. Now when dinner gets made and I have spent more time than I could really spare my daughter doesn't want to sit down to eat the dinner I've made. It drives me crazy. I've tried to give less snacks but when you're hungry you're hungry.

Hannah on the other hand will eat just about anything until you run out. She loves to eat and she does snack all day and eats a good meal when it's served. Now when I'm talking about snacks I don't necessarily mean cookies and ice cream. I mean blueberries, dried cherries, grapes, apples, crackers, pretzels, dried cranberries, peaches, celery with peanut butter and raisin bread. Yes the occasional baked cookie or Popsicle finds its way into the mix, but the girls aren't filling up on junk food. I try my best not to put it in the house. Not only because the girls gravitate towards it, but I do to.

Here's the thing; I get irritated after making a good and healthy meal while my three year old wont even look at it, but I still keep handing out these snacks. I have read in the past that eating slower and giving yourself breaks in between meals helps digestion and metabolism. So I'd like to think my choice is a good choice.

Here is a messy Lorelei eating her peanut butter celery

with a peanut butter and banana toasted sandwich.

Click here for the governments recommended daily food intake. Click here for the USDA's website for their dietary guidance and here for Kids Health.

Nap Time Debate: Homeschooling vs. Public Schools

Swimming, sand, hot sunny days and Popsicles dripping down finger tips. Camping and S'mores all fun summer activities filled with joy and laughter come to an end and the school year vastly approaches. Summer is at it's half way mark and all I can think about is where to send my daughter to school.

She is still working on potty training, though we took her to her first preschool open house back in February or March. Excitement isn't even an accurate description for how Lorelei feels when we walk by the preschool and stop to play on some of the equipment (shhhh, don't tell). She is working hard on potty training, but doesn't seem to have the knack for it as she'd rather be playing right along with her sister, which doesn't quite add up to being ready for preschool.

The girls and I sit together to do endless craft projects, learning letters in work books and cutting out shapes and making puzzles. We do so many learning activities in this house; I even add in learning when we're going for walks or on the beach just by simply asking questions or pointing objects out.

All of this has made me wonder what is best for Lorelei and Hannah in the near future. What is going to be best for my girls? Does homeschooling or Public Schools have the best structure and learning environment for them to flourish and grow?

Homeschooling leaves so many doors open and seems to me to be a much more nurturing environment. It's my responsibility how the day goes and what they have learned by the end of the week. How they view learning and what they learn would be completely up to me. I can send them to summer camp or Library functions or decide to start a homeschooling group for parents and children or I can join a group.

Sending my daughters to a public school offers daily peer interaction and possibilities of ever lasting friendships. Learning from and trusting an adult other than a parent. There are things a public school offers that I simply can't. Learning how to get along with a teacher or peer on a daily basis and coping with their environment; if that may be the case. Odds are in the many years of schooling the children will come across a teacher or peer they just don't understand or get along with.

A child learns to thrive outside the home and learn how to follow their given schedule and earn grades and be admired and seen by peers. It can teach them how to handle a bully or even an assignment they'd rather not participate in.

On the other hand children may feel stifled and left behind their peers if they stay home with their mommy. They may feel uncomfortable in such a fast and structured environment in school.

Are these things I want my children subjected to? Just because it is the norm to attend public school and to learn how to thrive or survive doesn't mean my children need to be subjected to that type of lifestyle. Just as much as keeping my kids home "sounds" like the more nurturing option doesn't mean I need to keep them home with me. After all it takes a village right?

I have so many different arguments on this subject I can't simply decide. Not yet anyway. I'm not sure if I'm the right teacher for my children or have what it takes to guide them into living a happy and fulfilling life as adults. The last thing I want is to look back and think I made selfish decisions. I chose to send them to public school so I didn't have to feel the pressure of their education on my shoulders or I kept them at home with me because I wanted to nurture them and keep them close..too close for their liking.

Expect to see more on this subject in the future as I simply don't have a "winner" for this debate. Both schooling styles seem to be viable solutions to raising children. I hope I can make the right decisions for my children as the years go by. Any advice or opinions, please share!

For some homeschooling information go to http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com. Don't be afraid to look into it yourself. Google it!

For Homeschooling vs. Public Schools Part 2 please click here.

Nap Time Debate: Pull Ups vs. Big Girl Underwear

Okay, so I promised the girls pediatrician that would just stop talking about potty training all together. I have been told over and over by this lovely man that "L" will surrender to toilet training when she is ready. He has also told me that he has seen too many cases of traumatized kiddos from the process of toilet training.

This being said I just don't know what to do. Majority rules on big kid underwear being that kids can't feel that they have gone in the pull ups. The cool alerts even pose a problem for some parents because the kids enjoy the cool feeling.

"L" my three year old daughter has been interested in using the potty since she was "H's" age just like "H" is interested now. Honestly, she is mostly interested in stealing her sisters big girl underwear with Dora and Princesses plastered all over them to run where sister can't grab her and put them on herself. Of course being that she is one this task proves to be to difficult. None the less, it does not stop her from trying.

Anyway, "L" goes back and forth day to day, hour by hour from pull ups and big girl underwear. She refuses to tell me when she has to go although she has expressed and shown me that she knows when she needs to go. It's a very frustrating task for this mommy. I have been understanding and kind and caring, but now I just want to get down to business. Am I suppose to wait for my three year old to look me dead in the eye and say "Okay mommy. I'm ready."? Does this really happen?

I have tried many things for "L" and yet she refuses to decide she is ready. I have bribed with candy, suckers, stickers and even tried rewarding her with more t.v. time. I have even sunk so low to tell her we would go visit her cousin if she would just go #2. Are you seeing now why the pediatrician has nixed my talking about potty training? I am simply going nutty.

So here's the thing. I feel too horrible to let her repeatedly potty on herself as she will just change her clothes or deny that she is wet in the first place. She keeps going #2 in her underwear even though I have succeeded a few times in convincing her to go #2 on the potty. On the other hand if I let her wear pull ups which are essentially diapers in disguise she will use them just as that, diapers.

So what do I do now? Put my foot down and tell her that is that? I don't personally think so, but is that what it takes to get kids potty trained? Is my pediatrician right and I just need to wait for her to be ready? How can a three year old really decide that she is ready to use the toilet? May I add that one day "L" expressed to me that she doesn't want to use the potty because she "wants to keep it."

I guess all I can say for now is that we are going back and forth from underwear and pull ups. I know putting a child in underwear and letting them figure it out works, but is that the trauma that the pediatrician has seen? Do they really decide on their own when they want to be all grown up? To be honest with you I am kind of tired of looking this subject up on different web sites looking for answers (which the girls pediatrician said I need to give up as well.)

So the only answer I have for today is: Both?

Nap Time Debate: Rock-a-by-baby vs Cry It Out

It's not exactly nap time, but since I have had a few troubles in my household as of lately pertaining to nap times I sit here late at night typing away. Yes, in my house and in my chaotic brain after 8 pm is late.

My current situation isn't exactly horrible considering what it could be by any means. My three year old daughter has been sharing a room with her now one year old sister since she has been out of her bassinet. That being said, if you are a mother you know that doesn't exactly mean that she was sleeping through the night. My worries were that the infant would wake up the toddler and we wouldn't know what to do with ourselves. We'd be up all night with two kids who wanted to play so I would run into that room like there was a fire under my butt to make sure I helped the infant before she barely made a peep.

Now, again if you are a mother you know that isn't exactly the best thing for the infant and now my almost preschooler is waking up all hours of the night to sleep in mom and dad's bed. Oddly enough she tells us she is afraid of hearing a sound. After a couple of nights of consoling and making sure she is okay I have put a kibosh on letting her sleep in our bed. After all, mommy can't sleep with less than six inches of space and a foot in the mouth.

'H' has done okay as far as consoling herself, but she is also a one year old that has suffered from colic. Before we knew what was keeping her awake and keeping her crying we would put her in her infant swing and she would fall straight to sleep. It seemed to be the only thing that worked aside from my arms and a rocking chair and I have another daughter to tend to which didn't always make my arms available.

We had to quickly get rid of the swing as 'H' learned very quickly how to move and would try to wiggle right out of the swing. This has left me with a lot of sit down time in a rocking chair while a rambunctious toddler ran around us. We have actually rocked so much that my first daughters rocking chair broke when 'H' was about seven months old and are now onto our second glider.

I have finally put my foot down about rocking at all hours throughout the day as she seems to gravitate towards "mommy and me and rocker time" more than I can handle. The question here is what are a mom's options. Each child is an individual and has individual needs and mine just so happens loves being rocked.

I now spend at least fifteen minutes rocking her to ease every night and some nights she will lie down in bed awake and fall asleep on her own and other nights she will wail like she had numerous shots. Believe me, I know what that sounds like. We were just there. Here is a little bit from abcnews.com on the "crying it out."

"The Ferber Method

It's that last one that started it all, written in the mid-80s with Dr. Richard Ferber. His method was known as "ferberizing" and became synonymous with tough love: letting babies "cry it out" and self-soothe. Over the years, many conflicted parents, like the Byrnes and Grosses, have paced outside the nursery, watching the second hand while their little one "cried it out" alone for set time intervals.

Ferber says that "ferberizing" is actually "a great misunderstanding of what we try to do."

"I don't think I've ever recommended a 'cry it out' method," he says. "Crying is not a very happy thing. We don't want to see children crying, we don't want to see babies crying."

Ferber says his crying time chart was meant to be a last-ditch method to break specific and severe bad sleep habits. An updated edition of his book shortens the intervals of crying from five minutes to three."

In my house rocking has always won over crying it out. A little upset and wailing are two different things mind you. I never intend on teaching my kids wining or crying will get them their way, but I can't let my children cry beyond belief in the other room while I sip my coffee or fall back to sleep myself. On the other hand something needs to give a little. Here's hoping over coddling my not-so-baby-anymore wont permanently damage either one of us.

(Check out the entire article on abc's website at http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4263379&page=1 )

Nap Time Debate: Huggies Vs. Pampers

Now, Pampers have always been on my littlest girl who is just turning one (and on her older sister until she began potty training who is now three). She isn't one to really rash. Pampers recently changed their formula to be drier and thinner. The idea behind this newer formula sounds wonderful. I know I wouldn't want to wear a heavy, saggy, diaper so why put my girl in one. Right? I'm not sure if you follow this theory, but some say their isn't any such thing as a coincidence. A rash started to form on my one year old that didn't seem to go away, but get worse at the same time we just switched to these new pampers.

I started to change her even when she was dry and as often as possible because it just seemed to get redder and redder. I used a mix between Desitin Creamy and Balmex. (I love Desitin for overnight protection and Balmex for a bad rash.) Neither cream worked. I started letting her roam around in diaper covers without a diaper when I finally decided to google it.

This is one example of what I found today:

(AP) Government safety officials are looking into a handful of reports of severe rashes caused by new types of Pampers diapers.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission started an investigation this week following complaints of babies and toddlers suffering severe and persistent diaper rashes and blisters that resemble chemical burns.

In March, Procter & Gamble launched new versions of its Swaddlers and Cruisers diapers in the U.S. The thinner diapers use the company's Dry Max technology to replace the paper pulp previously used. Parents' groups blame the change for skin problems.

The company denies that Dry Max causes chemical burns.

(resource: cbsnews.com)

It went on with Procter and Gamble saying they will clear up the misleading information that is out there. What also came next were many comments from mothers saying the same thing I am.

To be on the safe side....the winner is!!!! Dun da duh.......drum roll....HUGGIES.

Thank you Huggies for not changing what works. Your diapers fit better and have a great shape for my little girls behind and the rash is almost cleared after a couple of days! Thank you!

Just an opinion by this mom of two.